Pray for me, Darlings, For i've almost nothing left

I know it may sound Dramatic, but it is honestly how i feel right now.
Some stuff has happened concerning the song in my previous post, with my dad.
he found a copy of it in my room and completely freaked out.
I wont tell all the details of what he said, but if i somehow show up in an Iowa boarding school and then Commit suicide, you can blame him.
Lets make one thing Clear, (as if you all didnt already know)
That song was ONLY to vent my anger about Josh going on a set up date... blah blah.
Its not like im actually gonna be a pole dancer, you guys.
come on! you know me WAY better than that.
I freak out when Josh says anything related to a girl other than Me or Grace.
and plus, i seriously think i have TSS right now...
i can barely see, i have a fever that turns on and off randomly, my skin looks sunburnt yet blotchy, and i totally feel like puking all the time. I have not been myself lately.
as Grace knows, from the completely morbid pictures i sent her.
and as the rest of you know by that song i wrote.
I AM SO SORRY.
I cannot control myself right now, i need to figure out if im going to die soon or not before i post anything else, i know if i post more i'll just wind up getting myself in more trouble.
i feel like adequate writers posses me every time i sit at this key board, telling my mind which tells my hands to write about something I am not to get myself the attention i obviously subconsciously crave.
I just wanted to say that i am deeply sorry to all the people who have stuck by me through this crap and i hope you all can forgive me.
and especially, thank you to Grace for being the greatest person i've ever known and for talking me through my mental break downs. xP
I love you more than Air, love.
k, im really gonna shut up now. xP