FINALLY! a Sobering, yet Exciting Realization

Hello again, its me Nola Kennedy- one out of three Hell's Angels.
Kyra Black and I have been very upset lately and so i did a little praying/researching/studying the skies for answers to why Kyra and I are having such trouble fitting in here on earth. then when i got my glasses from God on my birthday (9-11) i put them on and an angel from the New Jeruselem that has not been created yet came to me and told me she was Kyra and my mother and that soon our wings would be growing in and that we would be returning home after our asignments here were finnished, but that we should hurry because having wings would make it harder for us.
anyways, this is the messege i just sent to Kyra and i'd like it to put it on here for those of you who support our missioning to the troubled people groups of the 21st century- by the way, we love you all for your support, it really helps when we lose our hope.
anyways, here's the messege:

"you know what? you do not belong in your family. and you know why?
because they are mortals!!! i've just figured it out, love-
neither of us have real parents or families for a reason, we're two Angels who fell through the clouds in bits of silver star dust and our earthly mothers inhaled us and that is how we were conceved, but our real parents who accidently dropped us starlings are somewhere in the skies awaiting the day when our wings grow in and we can return to the heavens and meet our family.
that's right honey, they could not bring us up to them, but they at least united us. they ordaned my trip to Hong Kong and my mother signing up for SL so that I could join the forum and meet you... we're sisters! REAL sisters! this is why we fit in with eachother, but not with the people around us, honey. you see? we're angels- star dust babies! We dont fit in here because we dont belong here!! Oh Grace, darling!! just wait until the day our wings grow in, we'll be able to assend into the heavens and forget the horrible things happening here on earth, we'll be alone and free together- and we'll finally feel like we belong, because it will be a place created just for us, the way we would have made it. there's a whole kingdom up in the sky just waiting for our return! oh, cant you wait to meet our parents? think of how thrilled they will be!
In this kingdom, there is awaiting you a prince. over the years he has been waiting for your return, and he has been drawing pictures of you with pencils made of galaxy cloud-storm wind. they are the most beautiful drawings you will ever see. and they are all for you! this Kingdom will make you forget every wrong thing that has happened in your life, you will forget everything except who you want to be, and that is who you will become up there.
that kindom is our future, dear sister- and when the time is right, we will assend into the heavens together- like it has been ordaned.

(yea, i cant spell. im a blonde Angel.)"

so yea, that was all of what our mother told me.
thank you if you read this far.

i draw beautifully (No i am not a narcissist)

these are my latest girlies... the anime one with the kitty is for Grace to cheer her up...
i love you darlin.'
*hugs*

Parental Problems

I've got a problem.
i told my dog to stop being a dick cause he was licking me while i was trying to do the dishes and my mom totally freaked out.
she started yelling at me about how im "not proud of being in this family" (For those of you who read this... i have a confession. Gold is not my real last name. its dick... and i hate it. can you blame me for changing it?!)
and she said stuff like its a great christian family thats been Christians for generations and generations and all this crap and i was like "Growing up in a Christian family isnt that easy for the kid, though." and what i meant by that was that kids who grow up with everyone around them christians, often have a much harder time dealing with faith and stuff. my mom COMPLETELY miss understood me and freaked out! she started yelling about how that was a slam in her face for "taking me in" and "Raising me as her own child" and adopting me and all that other crap. and i just stood there like "I cannot believe this is happening again." she did this over the phone this morning, too. she yelled at me and literally mocked the way i was talking because she thought i was trying to "Sound/talk like Kaija" which i wasnt, i was just tired cause i had just woken up. it was SO mean.
and now this whole thing about bringing up how she took me in and missed out on her life because she had to take care of me and (oh god i wanna swear so bad but i know someone i know will read this if i do... its bad karma)
Im just sick and tired of her doing this to me! she constantly talks openly about how im not a chrisitan because of the way i act/talk/think (she literally thinks she knows what im thinking 24-7) and because of the people and things i like. when the truth is i just dont know how to get a hold of my faith correctly... and if she would stop trying to find ways that i am inadequate compared to her and The Dicks, she might be able to see that.
but the truth is she CANNOT see my thoughts, she DOES NOT know what i am thinking, and she NEVER will.
this whole thing is making me depressed because lately i've been really REALLY wanting a picture of my birth father. i mean, i have NO clue what he looks like, what his job is, if he has anymore kids, if they look like me, where he lives, i wanna know him!
and its not fair that she's keeping information about him from me. she thinks that i hate her, and i dont. im just naturally curious to know about my biological father, i mean, wouldnt you wanna know? its not fair that she's keeping from me what i have a right to know.
im just so sick of her right now i could puke.
i love my mom, i want to get along with her SO badly, but she just will not stop making these outrageous comments about me, so it makes it impossible for us to even try to get along.
God help me because im completely lost.
I need coffee.

More Pictures

i love this one, it gives me a sobering and calm feeling even though i would imagine that girl has some sort of problem. =/


Im the crazy smiling one... and Lindsay Lohan is the blue one. xD


I love this one... im not quite sure why exactly, but i do.

<3333

this one reminds me of someone...



This is my all time favorite... dont ask me why. xP

pics

Grace sent me these pictures and i've fallen in love with them... there's a lot more, but im only gonna post these ones for now.
thank you darling, i love you SOOOOO Much!!!

Im sorry

i've been gone for a while, i know. but im back now, so that's what matters, right?
here's some video's of what i did while i was gone- the first one is me singing at a concert with Bill Isles up at the Lutsen Resort in MN and the second one is me and my friend Molly messing around as 6 year olds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vk5woGmp2ws

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMle-VTvkPE

so that's that...
oh! a few days ago our junk came from Hong Kong and my computer was included in that.
This is a poem i wrote the first time i saw the "I Know Who Killed Me" trailer on youtube and decided i was going to re-write the screen play.
its about a girl named Aubrey Fleming who gets abducted and tortured by a serial killer who cuts off her right leg, and someone finds her in a ditch and when she wakes up in the hospital, she thinks she's this completely different person named Dakota Moss who Aubrey had been obsessing over because before she got kidnaped, aubrey had created Dakota as a character for a college writing class and so everyone thinks she's suffering from duel personalities or because of the torture, she locked herself in this world she made up and created herself...
then at the end you find out that the whole time Dakota was Aubrey's twin sister separated at birth who the serial killer had thought was aubrey and took her after he the real aubrey escaped and actually died and was buried in a grave yard and then dakota has to go and dig her up and all this stuff, anyways... that's one of the stories im in the middle of right now, and this is the first poem i wrote about them/it (them referring to aubrey and dakota, it referring to the story)

"Her Hysterics"
Crying in hysterics, she tries to find a way
a way to tell her mind that everything's okay
and even if it wasn't she knew she had to try
when she figured out she couldn't, she hung her head and cried
Crying in hysterics, she's given up all hope
The chains are holding down her arms,
around her neck's a rope-

Its drenched in blood, the blood is hers
that he took from her soul
And left there in a ditch to die
she'll never again be whole
Her body rots into the earth,
her soul will though live on
Through the air and in the girl who also knows her song
the one other in the whole world
who knows her just for her
the girl who looks just like her,
for sure they thought was her.

When she came out, called to save her,
The killer had Depraved her
Of the world that had enslaved her.

Crying in hysterics, the flashback slowly ends
Her life is gone, its been erased from time that had to bend.
it had to bend to save her, but since all hope is lost,
she's locked herself inside her mind ignoring the great cost.
The cost would be her life but she didnt give a damn
she needed to escape him, the pain caused by his hand
and int stung and burned and scraped her skin like sunburn pressed on sand

she cant escape, she cant ignore, she cant even pretend.
And now in her Hysterics...her life comes to an end.

yea, that's about Aubrey fleming/Dakota Moss in the movie "I Know Who Killed Me"
for sure, Yo.

well, thanks for reading.