Pray for me, Darlings, For i've almost nothing left

I know it may sound Dramatic, but it is honestly how i feel right now.
Some stuff has happened concerning the song in my previous post, with my dad.
he found a copy of it in my room and completely freaked out.
I wont tell all the details of what he said, but if i somehow show up in an Iowa boarding school and then Commit suicide, you can blame him.
Lets make one thing Clear, (as if you all didnt already know)
That song was ONLY to vent my anger about Josh going on a set up date... blah blah.
Its not like im actually gonna be a pole dancer, you guys.
come on! you know me WAY better than that.
I freak out when Josh says anything related to a girl other than Me or Grace.
and plus, i seriously think i have TSS right now...
i can barely see, i have a fever that turns on and off randomly, my skin looks sunburnt yet blotchy, and i totally feel like puking all the time. I have not been myself lately.
as Grace knows, from the completely morbid pictures i sent her.
and as the rest of you know by that song i wrote.
I AM SO SORRY.
I cannot control myself right now, i need to figure out if im going to die soon or not before i post anything else, i know if i post more i'll just wind up getting myself in more trouble.
i feel like adequate writers posses me every time i sit at this key board, telling my mind which tells my hands to write about something I am not to get myself the attention i obviously subconsciously crave.
I just wanted to say that i am deeply sorry to all the people who have stuck by me through this crap and i hope you all can forgive me.
and especially, thank you to Grace for being the greatest person i've ever known and for talking me through my mental break downs. xP
I love you more than Air, love.
k, im really gonna shut up now. xP

The Beautiful Wrong

A Song To Let out the Depression of Inner Hollywood Sluts and the reasons they do what they do


Broken and Bruised
Bodies Abused
Un-Innocent losers
Beautiful Sluts
Can't get enough
The Pole moves above her
Cause he never loved her
And nobody wonders why

We are the Pole Dancers
Slaves to our Silver masters
All our hearts crumble like Plaster
But we keep dancing on,
We dance all night long

Dance to seduce
No adequate use
Love-makers excuse her
Flip upside down
Spiral around
One more time above her
cause He never loved her
and Nobody wonders why

We are the Pole Dancers
Slaves to our Silver Masters
All our hearts crumble like Plaster
But we keep dancing on,
We dance all night long

Just me and My pole now
All i have left Has been thrown down
Metal doesnt bother me when im up off the floor...
And that's fine, its alright
This job comes with that price
To keep the pain bottled up inside and
No One wants to know
Why he let me go
They say I'm better off alone
And that's fine, it's alright
This Job comes with that price
Knowing she's gone and lost
Knowing the pain that he caused
Knowing he left her alone
And now she's bound to that pole

Singing
"We are the pole dancers
Slaves to our silver masters
All our hearts crumble like Plaster...
We are the Pole Dancers
Slaves to a Silver Master
We dance for the drunken bastards
But we keep dancing on
We dance all night long"

Oooh, Keep dancing on
Oooh! This is the Beautiful Wrong
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Strip on that Pole all night long


*bows* thank you, thank you.

Oh, yea. it is a song, there is a melody, and this time i actually think its a good melody, and i didnt steel it so,.. i guess that's good.
Well Grace, darling,
You told me to attempt to find another way to let out my depression,
i came up with drinking coffee and writing that.
*smiles*

my depressing pictures

Edit:
Grace didnt like the pictures, and my blog hates me. so i cant delete the posts.
sorry non-existant readers.

my depressing pictures

Didnt write it, but its how i feel

Just change "Drew" to "Josh" and the whole thing will fit almost perfectly.

Tear Drops on my Guitar
by Taylor Swift

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

[Chorus:]

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

[Repeat Chorus]

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.


Sad song, huh?
he wrote this thing on his blog about going on a date with this chick in malaysia who really likes him that his friends set up.
And...
well, Im sick of it. i really dont know why i stay on sonlight anymore.
mainly for grace and Meredith, but grace has been on and off the "Im quitting SL" stage. Mer i think will stay till she's 18, so that's good.
Im just so sick of being an idiot.
Josh can have any frigging skinny girl he wants and i dont care anymore.
gosh, im so worried im gonna wind up a coke-snorting pole dancer in NYC and die from O.D or something.
Its so how i feel right now. too bad i dont have a pole. xP
he says if i ever try pole dancing he'll tie me to if AFTER he "paralyses" me.
yea, right. good luck with that, babe. i'd like to see you try. maybe we could get someone to film it, say im Linlo and then put it on ebay. O.o that would be amazing.
you'd go to jail, though. =/
dont really want that.
i dont know, i just got off grounding, and i was all excited for Josh. then Josh like, never got on and i was like... still sitting there?
i have no clue.
i dont know how to speak correctly, unless "speak" is referring to the song, then yes, i do. xD
yea, i still love him. way more than i should. but that's not his problem, and he should be able to have a life without me bothering him.
same with Kaija. i think im gonna back off and give my friends the lives they deserve.
if i somehow wind up on the white board of the missing person's squad, dont worry.
i'll be long gone before they find me.

go on with your lives, darlings. especially you, grace. you really dont need anymore of my crap.

Halloween Costume!!! (No, i dont like the wizard of Oz)

Why does everyone ask me if i love the Wizard of Oz?!





I know i look really short and fat in this dress, but its just the dress. Im 5'9 and... well, cant say anything about the fat part, but whatever. xP



Im in this for my dog Sammie who is being Toto. xP

Anna May- The most Beautiful Model in the world

these are BRAND NEW Anna May pictures from her NEW PHOTO SHOOT!!! AAHH!!
She's my new Idol! check her out!





Look how blue her eyes are!


















I love this one:

Giving Up- A song i wrote for Kyra (IF you'd call me i might sing it for you)

There’s no way I will ever open up to you
There’s no way you will ever know the truth
There’s a world all my own inside of me
The protective layers have broken down to three
They’re what keep you from being able to see
What goes on inside of me-
My God, they’re so horrible; things that they say to me
Make me run back to my bedroom and cut myself
All up into pieces cause
That’s what they all did to my heart and yea,
That’s the only way I ever begin to start to
Try explain to you what the hell is inside of me
The only way I ever let myself see
How completely inadequate this whole-damn-thing is compared to the way it should be---
O God, its so horrible; things that they say to me
Make me run back to my bedroom and cut myself
And in my hysterics I cry out to you
Oh my God, wont you help me? I don’t know how to
Get a grip on my life that is scattered around me
I stretch up on my toes and try hard to see…
I stretch up on my toes and look out my window
It’s beginning to rain, and O God, you must know
How I’ve secretly prayed in my room that the rain would come

But my heart is still sad so I take out my gun
If you loved me you’d know he would have been the one-
And-only who ever really loved me enough
To keep me from pulling this trigger and giving up

There’s no way I’ll ever open up to you
There’s no way you will ever know the truth
There’s a world inside of me-
It’s haunting me-
It wont let me breath-
I can’t even see me…
O God, if you’re listening, I’m sorry I swore
It’s the things that they tell me, I can’t just ignore
Everyday it’s this walking through Hell’s flaming door
Now I’m craving the burning, my heart’s been so torn
Oh my God, wont you stop me before I shoot myself.

O, I've lived over the ages ignoring the Pain
that arrived on the wind and inside of the rain
It blew in through my broken old window
It let out the heat and brought in all the cold
Which of course came and smashed my one last bit of hope
And O God, you wont save me- i finally know
I've been begging for something you constantly show
I'm too stubborn to sit down and do as I'm told
My Body's used up- but Im fifteen-years-old
I blow up at the smallest of things- like the cold
My glass is half empty, i hate when its full
And I hate when i push all you do is pull
Why cant you let go, and i'll pay with my soul
I dont care- i dont belong anywhere

This song reminds me of Kyra, dont ask me why

The Corner Boy

Hey, boy over in the corner of my two cement walls;
Why do you sit there every day and stare at me?
Cause boy, I can tell you’re the type who’d have his own walls
His own to sit against and re-think all his broken dreams
The dreams that he wanted so bad to fix;
That was shattered on the cement floor in a million pieces.
Boy, why do you sit by my walls all day, every day, wandering in your mind while trying to run away?
You know I can see you over there, because you’ve been watching me.
All day long you’ve been watching me, studying my every move.
And boy, I can’t explain why, but it really doesn’t bother me.
When I wake up on the other side of the room I look forward to seeing your blank face watching me. It helps keep me alert through the day.
I can see you over there; you’ve been painting your pictures on my walls- just as I’ve been painting mine.
And as I look over both of ours, I can see they grow similar over time.
O boy, why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you open up to me?
Is it because of all the failed times when you tried to tape together another broken dream?
Because boy, I’m not like that; I’m different from all those girls
I’ve almost fallen many times, but I eventually come out of the world
The sin that’s grasped all the others no longer has its hold on me
Because a long time ago I gave up on all my broken dreams
I threw them out the window of the sin wagon I was on
Then crashed it into a lake and watched it as it burned
O boy in the corner between my two cement walls, why wont you let me catch you as you fall?
Everyday I look at you and see something in your eyes
A look of sorrow within happiness I can tell you’ve been despised
You’re body looks unused, but the way you hold yourself
Tells me that inside you’ve been drained and all worn out
You’re numb in pain, you’re drenched but dry, you’re asleep while you’re awake
Boy I think you were on that wagon when I crashed it in the lake
If I’ve somehow hurt you by something that I’ve done
O boy, find it in your heart to forgive me because I know that you’re the one
You’re mouth opens, and you want to know “what the hell do I want?”
I want your love, your life, your pain, your bruises, cuts and all
To be mine to carry for you while you hold me as we fall
O boy, I’d gladly fall with you down to the Hell of fire
And throw all our pain and sorrow in with the unholy liar
Boy can’t you see how I love you so? How for you I’d burn my soul
All I want in return is for you to call me your own
And hold me, kiss me, love me like you’ve never loved before
Because boy, you know I’m good for you, you know what I can do
I want our lives to merge into one life that’s good for you
I’ll find a way, I promise boy, if you’d just hold me close
And in your sweet embrace the million opened doors will close
Leaving us just one to pass on through, hand in hand
O boy, and through this door will be our very own land
That we can rule and share together before our time comes to an end
I love you boy, now can’t you see how long I’ve been waiting for you?
It’s been so long, just please stand up and give me the honest truth
Am I good enough for you, or should I go back to my corner?
Are you too absorbed in your closed mind to give me a chance, O lingerer?
You say you wander the earth and you won’t be there for me
But the way I see it- I could come with and you could show me everything you see
There is a way around everything in and on this world
But are you willing to take the chance and love me the way you should?
O boy over in my corner, kiss me; call me yours
And we’ll retreat into our minds where this fantasy was born.
I’ve woken up, I look to my corner, but he was never there.
He’s been long gone, for many years, the life we never shared
Is shattered on my cement floor, all around my feet
It’s collecting dust in my dark asylum along with my broken dreams
And now at last I have the strength to let myself break down
And crying in hysterics, this is how I drown.
I drown myself in my silver tears; they look like unicorn blood
And when I died, he was there waiting for me above
He smiled and held me tight as we shared our first kiss
Even after death, it was something I did not want to miss
The look on his face, he finally smiled and called me his very own
And standing in heaven, in his strong arms, it finally felt like home

Something i wrote in a PM

it is my flashback to a day that only occurred in my mind that i would like to share with my friend.
(i wrote this after i blew up at Josh... again... for being flirty with everyone else but me. this is my nonfictional story)

im sick of him doing this to me. i feel like a little kid that follows him around sucking on her thumb while begging him to give her a piggy back ride, only im not even his favorite little kid so he pushes me away from him, says he doesnt want to because he's too tired from giving all the other girls piggy back rides and i fall over and scrape my little 4 year old knee on the sidewalk. then i wipe the blood up with a paper towel and show it to him, i did not cry even one bit when i fell. i hold the bloody paper towel up to him
and say with my little 4 year old voice "Do you see how i bled for you and did not cry? i took it like an older kid, why cant i be treated like an older kid?"
and then he'll smirk and say "Because you are not an older kid. wait a couple years and if i dont have someone else, maybe i'll have somewhere for you in my heart. now go away, im gonna go talk to that blonde over there."
then he leaves me there with my bloody paper towel, and since it is the only thing i have to hug i hug it and get my own blood all over my new shirt that i'd gotten to see if he would notice it. he did not.
so now i am standing on the sidewalk, and i begin to cry. i cry for everything that he'd done for me and everything he'd done to me.
i cry because i want him so bad and he'll never want me back.
it is at this point when my flashback on the side of the road fades out and you see my normal, 14 year old self standing there hugging my rugged old backpack to my chest and a tear falls down my cheek. i still miss him, and im still waiting for him.
i was a smart little 4 year old, i knew i would wait my whole life.
too bad i was so stubborn, i never learned how to let go.

Nola Kennedy's Journal

The following are entries written in Nola Kennedy's Journal about her missions, and encounters during her every day life.
if you are confused, post any questions you have on the comments and i will answer them as soon as possible. thank you.


~Toe Pixies~

Sunday, September 30th 2007- Nola Kennedy

Last night I stayed at “The Edge Water” resort in Duluth, MN with my earth family, and something came to me in the middle of the night.
Actually, not only one thing- three things;
I’ve decided to call them “Toe Pixies” because of the way they came to me, and what they did when they arrived.
Now, before I explain what they did, I will try to explain a little more about them.
First you must know that those who do not believe fully in their existence cannot see the Toe Pixies; they are hidden from mortal eyes because mortals do not really have the will or even the capability to believe in the unseen, especially Pixies.
Second, you must know that Pixies can sense happiness, depression, and everything in-between. They can sense even the tiniest sliver of contentment in your heart- they know when you’ve had a good day or a bad day and they only come when you’ve had a bad day. Now I know what you all must be thinking, “Why would pixies only come when you’ve had a bad day? That doesn’t make sense. Aren’t pixies supposed to be happy creatures?” So let me explain. Toe Pixies A) come only at night- they are a lot like the tooth fairy in that they know when you are asleep. B) They come only when you’ve had a bad day because of their powers- sensing contentment. They know that any living person cannot survive without having anything that makes them content within a period of 24 hours so they use their gifts to help your dreams. Now I know this probably sounds insane, so I will continue attempting to explain. Please be patient as I try to over come my blondeness. Toe pixies know every part of your day and everything that happens while you are awake- and they also know what you are dreaming. So when you’ve had a bad day and you fall asleep, they come and lick your toes until you wake up. Then they whisper to the back of your mind the bit of happiness in your day to help your dreams be a bit more pleasant. Now you might be thinking, “Why do they lick your toes?” well, have you ever bumped your foot up against something cold while you were asleep and it jerked you awake? Or has your foot ever fallen asleep and it was so irritating that it woke you up? That’s the toe pixies working. You see, when they lick your toes, it causes your foot to react in different ways. They cannot just simply tickle you awake, they have to use your own strength and body against you. This may seem mean and wrong of them, but it is their job! What else are they supposed to do?
Now, the other thing you must know is that toe pixies are a lot like puppies in their personalities. You know how a puppy will love you unconditionally no matter what you do to it? You could kick a puppy in the nose and it would still love you. That is the way toe pixies are. Now don’t you think that they have been kicked many times during the night? Their jobs are to tickle people’s feet! Of course they get kicked around and slammed into walls! But they still come back to you- every time you have a rough day they come back to give you good dreams.
Everyone has their own three Toe pixies- you cannot share pixies with a friend or even a relative, every living person has their own three Toe pixies.
So anyways, my toe pixies came to me last night and licked my toes causing my foot to slam into the side of the bunk bed, which was ice cold. I woke up with a moan, and there they were. Right in front of me; the toe pixies!
They were all different colors, and completely nude. (Though they did not have any hair on their bodies except for on their heads.) One was Black with red palms, red souls, red hair, silver eyes and red wings. Another was dark purple with bright green eyes, white hair and black wings with red tips, and the last one was white with black wings, black hair, blue eyes and black nails, (She was my favorite.)
They were shocked that I could see them because I had never fully believed before, so I had never seen them. But they soon warmed up to me and started talking about what dreams they were going to give me. They all three have their own names too; the black one’s name is Schiilah, (Sh-ee-la) the purple one’s name is Aribele (air-ih-bell) and my favorite one’s name is Kharizma. (Kah-riz-muh)
She was the one who gave me the dream about Lindsay Lohan sending my picture back to me hand signed and complimenting it. Kharizma said that she thought I was the most gorgeous angel she’d ever seen and that she had begged God to let her be one of my toe pixies. (Apparently being a toe pixie, you see a lot of angels in heaven; seeing as how you work for God and all.)
So yes, last night I met for the first time my very own toe pixies and I am very pleased.
They promised that since I am an Angel and not a mortal they could come back even when I don’t have a bad day just to talk. The bad day rule only applies to mortals because they do not believe.
But I do believe in my toe pixies. I have made three new friends, and I intend to keep them. They are beautiful- and they are female which makes them even better!
Oh! And yesterday I came to an exciting realization that is completely unrelated to my toe pixies, (I am not going to call them my “new” toe pixies because I have had them since I was conceived, I have just never seen them before.)
Angels do not weigh anything!
Nothing at all, they don’t need to weigh anything! How do you think they live in the clouds? This made me very excited because I realized I no longer have to eat anything! I thought about it, and I tend to eat more when I am depressed. So I’ve decided to reverse my metabolism so that I do not eat when I am depressed. And I have been more and more depressed lately, simply because I miss my real family. I imagine they must miss Kyra and I greatly. We were the youngest in our kingdom when we fell down through the clouds, (I believe we still are the youngest, which is good because I do not like having younger siblings) and everyone always loves the youngest. Our kingdom is missing its two youngest princesses! My mother told me that Kyra and I have one older sister and 3 older brothers. They are nice brothers who miss and love us very much. Their names are Nolan, Wesslie and Kyzera, or Kye for short. (My mother obviously has picky name choices seeing as how most of our names sound almost identical.) And mother also tells me our sister is beautiful. Mom says she looks just like Kyra only with reddish-gold hair, and her name is Mercury, but our family often calls her Mercy or Mercedes. I feel very bad for having fallen down like that, so carelessly down to earth and allowing myself to be inhaled by my earthly mother. However, my time here on earth has been more exciting than it would have been had I not fallen down. I get to serve on earth for heaven to a people group that inspires and excites me! What more could a princess ask for?
I am eager to speak with my sister in person about all of this. We have not yet met in person, and that is something else that has making me depressed. My body knows it is missing something, someone that is a part of me.
Mortals do not have this feeling because they are related by mortal birth, but Kyra and I both came from the same star birth- the same exact star. My mother told me that we were even the same piece of stardust at one point. She fell first though, of course because she is one earth year older than I am. Oh how I do long to meet her in person!
I believe that God is teaching me patience by holding her back from me for a little while. Besides, I would not want to just rush over to her home and hug her to death, I would want everything to be planned out and perfect. She’s my only true sister, and meeting her means a lot to me. Because she is the only being on earth that I truly belong with; and that is a scary thought. I would not want to frighten her or make things awkward for her. I would want her to know what was going on and I would want her to be happy. I am a bit afraid of her, though. She does not know this because I’ve never told her, but she says that when people “bug” her she likes to eat them… O.o
I do not want my sister to eat me! I want her to love me and look after me as her little sister and let me look after her like my older sister! I do not want to be eaten by anyone; I am not simply one of Pan’s fairies that can just be eaten at will!
So that is the only thing about my sister that frightens me, everything else makes me so overjoyed, at times I think my heart might explode!
I love my sister more than I love air- hell; I love her more than I love my brain which allows my mind to tell me that I love her more than air!
I am sorry, but I must go now. I fear that if I write anymore I might become so overjoyed that not only my spiritual heart would explode, but my physical heart as well.
I will attempt to keep you posted about our situation and for sure I will post about Kyra and I when we meet.
This is Nola Kennedy signing off.






~Visit from Schwebe~
Monday, October 1st 2007

Hello again.
Today I received an email from Schwebe.
He is having doubts about the whole “angel” thing. He says that metaphorically, we are Guardian Angels for those on earth, but he does not believe that we are spiritual angels at all. He does not think that we fell during our star birth; he does not believe that we have our kingdom waiting for us.
He thinks that I am simply trying to lock myself in a fantasy that I’ve created because our jobs are getting harder as we draw nearer to the end. But I am not, I know that Kyra and I are twins. I believe what my mother told me. Angels are real, and Hell’s Angels will save many people in the years of tribulation.
Just because I am the youngest Hell’s Angel does not mean that what I say is not true. I am only six months and four days younger than Kyra, and I am only two years, two months and 3 days younger than Schwebe. Schwebe may know a lot more than I do, and so might Kyra, but that does not mean that I don’t know anything!
I feel so alone all the time and when he treats me like a child it makes me WANT to retreat into a fantasy! But I know that that is not what I am doing.
I also know that if I truly wanted to, I would.
But there’s something stronger than my body holding me back from failure and surrendering.
Journal, I truly believe I’m in love with him… Schwebe I mean.
He’s the only one who knows what’s really good for me and what I need.
But that does not mean that I’m going to trust him when he tells me I am not an angel and am not a twin to Kyra. Because I AM,
I do not know barely any of God’s plans yet… but I do know that I will soon. And when I find out, I hope that there’s something in it for Schwebe and me.
But if there is not, then I know that God will provide someone even better than Schwebe for me. I cannot imagine being this alone for the rest of my time here on Earth.
I pray that Kyra will find someone as well, because she is very lonely and sad all the time. I think she really needs someone there for her constantly, though she says she loves being alone; I cannot remember the last time she was not depressed.
I am currently listening to one of my favorite earth songs that is sung by the first celebrity to ever be assigned to me for ministering. Her name is Lindsay Lohan; she is an American celebrity, a redheaded one. She is very beautiful, journal. However, she is one out of the many “starlets” (as this world calls them) that has fallen into the wretched trap of Hollywood and it is my job to get her out of it, safe, clean and sober.
I can tell that it is not going to be very easy, journal. But with the Lord, anything is possible.
I believe this is going to be a tough experience that will test just how strong my belief in that sentence is.
And I know that I will come out of it stronger than ever shouting to the streets of New York “Praise the Lord!”
I cannot wait to see this woman standing in front of me.
She is currently at a “Rehab” center in Utah, however. So it may be a little while before our first meeting.
And me being an Angel and not a celebrity makes it sort of hard to arrange a meeting…
I mean, I am known by the Lord, but I am not known by the world; to the world I am simply another young girl “obsessed” in a celebrity.
I do not mind being called this, however, because it is a rather good disguise (or excuse) to “hide my wings” (as my mother calls it.)
She says that God does not want us to tell any mortals that we are angels because they would come and stalk us with cameras and reporters and we would never be able to do our jobs! That would not be a good situation, so I am keeping my mouth shut about my wings growing in and about my mission. My job (other than to minister to Lindsay Lohan) is to make the ministry subtle so that she does not know she is being ministered to.
My plan is this; I will attempt to build a trust and a bond between us so that she will want to be around me, and then when she sees how I do not drink, smoke, take drugs, party, or any of the other things she does so often and once she sees how truly happy I am, she will ask me about it. (All mortals ask you why you are so happy because they do not know your secrets.)
Then I will tell her in a way that will come to me. At that point I will be letter Jesus put the words in my mouth to tell her… that is what we were told to do when we first got our assignments.
Then after Lindsay Lohan, I get a break for a few months as the Lord finds a new celebrity for me and then I will start focusing on them; yet I will still keep my relationship with Lohan stable as to keep her faith flowing smoothly.
During my break, however, I will be able to live with Schwebe and Kyra even if they have not yet finished their assignments yet.
God has made this mission so much easier for us by creating a schedule that fits our wants and our needs. He is perfect and a VERY generous Lord.
I love him very much.
Well, I need to go see if there are any updates on Kyra’s blog so I will attempt to keep you updated frequently.
This is Nola Kennedy signing off.

I Know you can Read this

Grace!
That's right, im talking to you!
PLEASE stop shunning me!!
I need you to speak with me right now,
you know this is important when im posting a thing about it on my blog because i know that you still read it.
you have to talk to me!!!
Im really worried about you, and since its on my blog i cant say everything i want to. you are not replying to any of my PMs and its making me pissed.
can you please just stop ignoring me and at least send me a one sentenced PM saying "Im fine, so shut the hell up."
or something so that i know you're still alive?
please?
thank you...
oh, and i still love you more than air.
just thought i'd let you know.
k, im going to bed now.

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